Barrett Garese

Taryn’s been a source of inspiration and commiseration as I’ve progressed along my own year and a half journey into ~~forcing~~ ~~making~~ rebuilding myself into the best version of “me” I can. She’s got a way with words too, and this example is - as usual - well worth the read.

operationbabe:

Some thoughts keep popping into my consciousness. It was the one year anniversary of Operation BABE three weeks ago. I was hoping to have an ‘after’ picture to post, showing what a year of being focused on working out and eating well, as if I was to audition for the role of Ripley (or her new manifestation as it is a prequel) in the new Alien pics, would look like. Unfortunately, I don’t have that picture yet, not even a sweaty post-gym iphone snapshot- let alone a new professional badass photo - as I’ve just been too busy these past few weeks. This, of course, is a wonderful problem to have. I swim in gratefulness that I am busy and working. I have my whiteboard infront of me know swarming with project ‘to dos’, new ideas and creative notes. Do I have a meeting set with Ridley Scott to discuss my impending involvement in the Alien prequel however? No, not yet…but it’s always in the back of my mind, driving me forward to keep the physical, mental and emotional challenges coming…so I can be the most kickass version of myself as I can be. So I can be the hero of my own story.

Sounds corny right but I’m just realizing how you know you can be the hero of your story. You are already the lead character. I think it was my new media agent who mentioned on Twitter that everyone is the lead of their own personal movie. Or something to that degree. But it struck me as something incredibly important to remember, both in dealing with other people, especially with creative, ambitious types, as well as looking at the narrative that is my own life. What kind of leading lady did I want to be? Apparently I have already chosen the archetype and didn’t even realize it. In recognizing (and publicizing) on a blog that I aspire to play badass action heroes, I was forced to take action, to embrace and then physicalize what that meant to me. A character like Ellen Ripley represents strength, survival, emotion, loneliness, intensity, anger, simplicity, complexity, strategy, hope- someone who can be an army of one and fight to save the future even if she never lives to see it. Alot of those qualities or nebulous ideas were already a part of me or wanted to be a part of me however I never gave them permission to manifest themselves. In creating a veritable game to play with a lofty goal, I gave myself permission to explore those qualities that I saw in a character like Ripley…as after all I’d have to reflect them in an audition so why not make them authentic? What I didn’t realize, was that those qualities of the character were qualities that I sub-consciously wanted to let breathe into my real life. So my training became two fold: the training to be the character, and training to unlock the person.

I may have a pension for combat boots and fight training these days but I’m in no way a true scifi badass- I’d probably be the first victim of the Predator as I hate swampy jungles and I still cringe when I see real guns. But there is a side of me that I’ve unlocked, one that I am very comfortable sitting in, much more comfortable than I ever have been. It’s a take no prisoners, anything is possible if you work hard enough side, that I think is responsible for keeping me so busy these days.

So what kind of hero do you want to be? When you think of who will save the day in your own narrative, what do you see? How much of yourself do see in that character, what are his or her flaws? This is an important question, what are the flaws, as the hero is often defined by them. My Operation BABE journey has brought me face to face with a lot of ugly and painful realizations, and a lot of beautiful ones. But I know who I am now. And what I want from life. And maybe even what it wants from me.

That’s my food for thought this morning (or in my case protein shake). Hope you all have a great weekend.

Source: operationbabe